“Life and Love are impossible to understand. To me, it seems as if they are always getting in the way of one another. I can’t help but love love. I want to feel helplessly unwhole without the man in my life. I want a man to sweep me off my feet. I don’t want a fairytale I just want a story worth telling. I want someone’s kiss to rock my soul. I want a man that understands what it means to be a husband and more importantly he wants to fill the job. I want my life to be extraordinary. I am hesitant to believe that truly extraordinary love and life can exist for women, except those in books and movies. I’m afraid most of us aren’t willing to hold out for both. I am going to. I am going to fall in love with someone, but more importantly someone is going to fall in love with me, all of me, not just the good stuff. I need to keep finding myself and along the way, I’m sure someone worthy will find me too.”
One thing is for sure. I LOVE love. It’s kind of an obsession I have. I cry at every wedding. I die for sappy romantic comedies and whenever I am feeling sad, I put on love songs. But how real is love. With the divorce rate what it is, I have to wonder, does it still really exist or are we basing all of our hopes of a happy ending on fairytales? A co-worker and I were just talking about how disney movies not only gave us unrealistic hair expectations, but alsounrealistic ideas of what love looks like. Is it selfish to believe that we deserve the movie ending?
Sometimes, I can be really poetic. As I mentioned in a previous post, I haven’t opened my journal in over a year. I took a little time to read a few entries. A particular entry really struck me. On July 5, 2010, I wrote the following about love:
Yep, it’s confirmed, I’m a hopeless romantic. It was refreshing to remind myself that I have always felt like this. If I dug out some of my journals from high school, I am sure they would say much of the same. Who can you be truly honest with if not yourself. I am happy to report that despite everything, I haven’t given up on love and I don’t think anyone else should either. Despite the movies and how hard it is to make love work, I know I will never give up on it. I love it too much. Disney you’re off the hook for my expectations of love, but as far as hair goes, I hold you personally responsible for my disappointment in my hairs lack of volume!