Their Beautiful Mess

Love is taking over the cooking, the cleaning and the care-taking when she really can’t anymore.
Love is letting her yell at him daily and then simply rubbing her arm and saying it will be alright.
Love is always defending her even when what she is saying makes no logical sense.
Love is always being by her side because she gets anxiety when he’s been gone too long.
Love is never raising his voice to her.
Love is knowing what she wants to say when she is having trouble getting words out.
Love is putting aside the things that make you happy to make sure she is happy first.
Love is doing all these things over and over every day.
Love is teaching his granddaughter to be patient through the frustration.
Love is unconditional.
Love is watching my grandfather care for my grandmother.

While she hasn’t officially been diagnosed, we are awaiting a confirmation of Alzheimers.   If you have ever spent much time with someone with the disease or any kind of dementia, you know they can be a bit of a handful at times.  If you’ve spent much time with me, you know that I am not very good at handling her mood swings.  My grandfather though, he is a saint among men.

My grandfather was the provider.  He worked hard to assure that his children (and me) would want for little.  Aside from his incredible brain power (the man was an aeronautical engineer) he is a fairly simple man.  He likes to ride and care for his horse, watch TV with the volume just a little too loud and enjoy a beer.  My grandmother always took care of everyone.  She was the quintessential of a housewife.  She cooked, cleaned and raised the kids.  She enjoyed her soap operas, a good game of solitaire and being needed.

I always knew my grandfather was a good man, but over the last couple years, with my grandmothers advancing dementia  I have come to understand that my grandfather is a great man.  The kind that I would be lucky to find.  The kind that I question still exists. At times I find myself wondering if this unconditional love is becoming extinct. Those are the times the hopeless outweighs the romantic.

He loves with his actions not his feelings.  He loves her.  No matter what.

2 thoughts on “Their Beautiful Mess

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