Last week she was one of my favorite things and this week she is sharing some of her beautiful soul with you all. Katie told me once that she felt we were “soul sisters” a title she said she never used, but I must admit, I agree 100%. Sometimes her words just brighten my day and sometimes, Katie writes something that speaks directly to me and solves whatever nagging self doubt I was having. Today’s post is the latter. Enjoy!
“It’s just hard to know whose advice to listen to, because I don’t know what my story is going to be yet.”
The words came out of my friend’s mouth at dinner one night, and it struck me how familiar they sounded. It was because I’d said them myself, countless times before. It seems like no matter what situation you’re in, someone else has been there. This is good, because it means people can understand you. But this is also bad, because it makes it hard to know whose advice to take.
Say you hit a rocky point in a relationship, and you don’t know if you should break up or tough it out. One well meaning friend says, “I went through that with my husband. I’m so glad we worked through it.” But another friend says, “You can’t ignore those early warning signs. You should get out before it gets messier.”
So…which is it for you? And me? Or anyone else? How can you know which direction to go if it seems like you can easily find 10 examples of people who did it any which way and say it was “the right thing to do.” I’d wondered it all myself a dozen times, but it wasn’t until I heard the words come out of someone else’s mouth that I realized I knew the answer. I know the answer to what my story is going to be.
Because the thing is, I believe you choose your own love story.
You can’t control timing, and you can’t control other people’s choices. But what you can control, to a large degree, are the circumstances you put yourself in. You can choose the setting and the backdrop and the wardrobe and the supporting actresses. And even when your circumstances seem out of your control, you can always control your reaction to them. You can control your attitude, your emotional health, and when you choose to say yes or no.
Do you dream of your love story being that you meet a handsome fella on the beach? Maybe you should take some trips to the beach. Will you find that special someone as you share love for a common humanitarian cause? Get out there and volunteer. Will you fall for someone you meet on a blind date, on a walk at the park, or at a showing of a local indie film? Well…you know. Go and do.
True, love might sneak up on you and surprise you in the end. I suspect it has something of a mind of its own, when it comes down to it. But you can still choose to go after the life you want, and choose where and who you want to be when love comes along and finds you. And, you can always choose to have an open heart to whatever twists and turns the story takes.
So what will it be? What love story will you choose? (And do you agree or disagree that there is any choosing to it at all?)
By now you must be as obsessed with her as I am, right? Go ahead an follow her blog (which is filled with even more authentic and heartfelt words) HERE.