So I have been putting off writing this post all day. I guess you could say I am frustrated.
First off, I am still feeling disappointed in my weight loss rate. I feel like I am working really hard every day and seeing minimal difference. Don’t get me wrong, there is a difference, it’s just not the difference that reality TV lead me to believe I would see after 6 weeks. Why can’t life be like The Biggest Loser?
Frustration about my weight tends to lead me to fixating on the other negative things in life. I get down on myself. And the tough questions start rolling in.
Why am I so hard to love?
Is it because I am overweight or worse, is it because I am just unlovable?
Am I going the right direction in my career?
Am I a good friend or do I let people down?
Am I good person?
And after all these questions, I usually find my answers at the bottom of a tub of mashed potatoes or the bottom of a McDonald’s bag. Ironic, since those things are what caused this whole line of self doubt in the first place. That’s why I usually fail at this whole weight loss thing. This is where the cycle always begins, but not this time.
I know, in my logical, positive mind that most of those questions aren’t even valid. But when negativity grabs hold, it’s not always easy to shake. I’m trying to pull my best Florence and the Machine though and “shake it off, shake it off”.
One thing I did learn from all those weight loss shows is that there is always a reason for the weight and more often than not, it’s because the person doesn’t value themselves enough. Something has happened that has caused them to doubt themselves and settle for the life their food addiction and sub-sequential fat suit has given them. I know those questions don’t come from logic, but instead from things that have happened that I am still trying to process. (This post is already getting too long, so I think I will save the real deep thoughts for next week.)
So this week, as my life begins to go into crazy mode, (The next 7 weeks include 3 one day trips to LA and/or San Diego, 6 major work events, a conference in D.C., a weekend in Santa Barbara and of course Tequila Sunrise in Flagstaff) it’s important that I put my workouts into overdrive and over plan for healthy eating. Since my time management is going to be crucial over the next month and a half, I have set up a very strict schedule for myself. I’ve always thrived under pressure, so all of this chaos will probably be good for me, but I can’t help but be a little worried.
Will all of this travel derail my healthy eating?
Will I be able to fit in all the workouts?
So I put the question out to you all. How do you stay on track when you are on the go?