So I was driving along in the car the other day, minding my business, when my ears were assaulted with the news that by age 35 I only have a 15% chance of getting pregnant. Immediately my mind went into crisis management mode. Mathematical equations flew through my brain as I determined that I only have 7 good years left (actually 6 years and 9 months, but who’s counting? I’ll tell you who, this girl!) and thatseems like a very small window for me to accomplish all my pre-baby professional goals, meet the guy, date for a suitable amount of time, get engaged, plan a wedding, get married, spend at least a year or two enjoying newlywedom and then start considering babies.
I had to rationalize that this horrifying radio ad was for a news broadcast and they were counting on freaking out women, like myself, enough to tune in. Who am I kidding, that rationale only lasted a sweet second before it fluttered away and was replaced by the thought that perhaps I am just too picky. But don’t I have the right to be picky? Isn’t the right guy the one that fits into your life as equally and perfectly as you fit into his? Or have I been brainwashed by all those delicious fairytales and romcoms I love so much?
Then I stumbled upon this post and I realized that maybe my list of standards isn’t as demanding as I thought! Here’s my list.
- I need a man that is philanthropic. Understanding the importance of giving back to the world is really important to me and shows me that a guy cares about more than just himself.
- He has to have a passion. I don’t really care what that passion is for (okay, maybe I care a little), it just has to be something.
- I feel like it’s requires a pretty basic level of understanding to know the difference of there, their and they’re. This one grammar staple has been a consistent roadblock when I attempt to date online.
- On a similar note, it’s not u, it’s you. There is a difference between abbreviations and laziness.
- I know it’s superficial, but I just can’t handle sandals with socks.
- I like to wear heels and I don’t like to feel bad about my heels because of his height complex. He has to be taller than me.
- He has to enjoy traveling or aspire to see the world. An absolute must! I have a thirst for knowledge and experience and I need to share that.
- Great eyes and a killer smile. Both have always been my weakness.
- He has probably been on a team that required throwing a ball. What can I say, I have a thing for athletes.
- He has a career. Bonus points if he is a successful entrepreneur-something I aspire to be.
- He has to be good to his mom and his sisters if he has them.
- In a world where technology allows us to never have to speak to one another, he’s not afraid to pick up the phone. I like getting phone calls. It’s kind of like getting a letter in the mail.
- He is never rude to people in the service industry.
- He’s a good role model for my little brothers and loves any opportunity to teach them things. (This shows me he’ll probably be an awesome dad someday.
- He likes doing his own thing and doesn’t mind me doing my own thing. I like to spend time with my friends or do things on my own, and I don’t have time for jealousy.
- I don’t think I could be with a Vegan, cheese will always be a part of my life.
- No Affliction or Ed Hardy- leave the sparkly things to me.
- He’s a cuddler.
- Honesty, loyalty, and kindness are high on his list of values.
- He’s a gentleman and a romantic, or at least he tries to be.
I suppose some items are negotiable, but for the most part, life has taught me that my Mr. Right will embody most of this list.
So sure, maybe I am single because I am picky, but I’m not willing to settle. Maybe I’m not putting myself out there. Or, as a friend of mine ever so eloquently put it, “Ashley, if you were a taxi, you’d be spending all your time driving around the city, but never turning your light on. No one would even know you were available.” Or maybe my singleness is all part of some delightful plan that I haven’t been privy to.
Yep, those romcoms have really done a number on me!
9 thoughts on “Why I’m Single”
I think that self absorbed women are not attractive, let alone overweight self absorbed women. It's clear why you don't have boyfriend. If you were down to earth then you would have a good chance. I think you're missing is a little thing called, “reality”. Overweight women who become fit, and do it without trying to tell the world,(blogging/announcing their problems) are attractive. Not ones looking for attention, obviously desperately seeking attention. If you want a quality man quit acting like you're picky, and instead of listing superficial qualities you are looking for in a man, try asking, “why would a man want me?” Instead of posting “feel sorry for me I'm fat” pictures and announcing that you now work out/diet. No guy wants a person who is ugly on the inside and out. Posting this dumb stuff is a joke. Instead of announcing how lame you are, you should “Just do it” Nike that beotch-get fit, get your mind right, ect, but do it quietly. No sane guy wants a women who posts this kind of stuff where everybody can see. Get yourself a journal and lock it, hide it, possibly burn it when you find a good man. You don't want him seeing this stuff, trust me! Good luck
To the person who wrote this:
How dare you belittle someone who is putting her heart out to the world. You should be ashamed of yourself. If you have nothing nice to say don't say anything at all. It hurts me to see the negativity that you are putting out there with this comment. Shove off! And by the way, while you're at it, don't comment on her blog ever again You are dispicable
That's why you don't put your heart out to the world if you're scared what the world might say. It's called reality
I don't think you're picky at all, Ashley. I think you have reasonable standards. Every single thing on that list is an absolute must. Except for the grammar thing. I've managed to fall completely and unconditionally in love with a man who doesn't know the difference between “to” and “too” and he doesn't use capitalization or punctuation. I get texts from him at work “love you to baby”. My inner grammar Nazi may rage, but my heart melts. He's legitimately brilliant so I can overlook these silly faux pas. 😉 Don't be afraid to fall in love with a man who got a B- in English. xoxo
P.S.: We just celebrated our 2-year anniversary on the 13th and my 29th birthday is this month. I'm freaking out about the same things you are! When will marriage and babies and everything make sense for us?! But don't stress and don't rush. When it happens, it'll happen and if you wait for it to be “right” for you, you'll have no regrets. Looking forward to the days when you post those big announcements here on your blog!
P.S. Again.: Miserable people love to try to bring others down. I think it's awesome that you're bettering yourself and blogging to more deeply understand your own mind and heart. Delete that comment and ignore this jackass. Obviously a very sad person who needs a hobby.
You know what else guys don't like, Anonymous? Shitty people. Go away.
I love this list! At least you know what you are looking for and I don't think it is being picky to not be willing to settle for anything less than what you deserve.
And to the anonymous poster who feels the need to hide behind a computer before sprinkling your misery on the rest of us – instead of spending your time reading other people's “problems”, why don't you work on your own? It only took a few seconds of reading your post for me to gather that you must have QUITE a few 😉
We haven't spoken in YEARS, but I have to tell you that it's been a heartwarming pleasure to follow this journey you're undertaking. It's unbelievably brave of you to put share your fears, your goals and your accomplishments, and to encourage your readers to do the same. It's small to belittle you in a cruel, hurtful way, basking in anonymity while shooting attempted daggers of destruction. It's easy to be cruel when there is no accountability or consequence.
I think what I'm tryyyying to say is… you do you, Ashley. 🙂
You MADE it!! If you don't get at least one hater you aren't doing it right! Keep on keeping on and THANK this anonymous person for taking you to the next level! Like we always say in the hood “haters gonna hate”.
#17, YES!! So funny 🙂
And I have never been able to figure out why people read stuff they don't like? No one is making you read it so if it bothers you so much then DON'T! Geez, common sense is out the door these days. You obviously struck a nerve somewhere and that person doesn't have the maturity to deal with it like an adult. Keep on keepin' it real!