Dear Elementary School Ashley,
These are going to be the quietest year of your life. Your reputation as the really nice girl that everyone knows of, but no one really knows starts here. Girl, you know how to rock a giant hair bow ruffled socks and a matchy matchy outfit from Robinson’s May! You’re a little bit of an awkward kid, but let’s be honest who isn’t.
|So on trend. Floral pants, satin nightgown, and a jean tuxedo with ninja turtle t-shirt and cowboy hat.
Don’t be jealous.
In Kindergarten, you are going to miss one day of school. That day is the day your teacher will get proposed to. You will hang onto the regret of staying home sick for years. Your best friends will all be boys, by default because they are the only kids in your neighborhood. Don’t ever worry about this. Learning how to talk to boys early is going to benefit you down the line. Besides you are teaching them valuable life skills by forcing them to place house for every time they make you play war.
In first grade, you will get really sick and be out of school for a month. Don’t worry you little six year old rock star, snuggle all you need to in those New Kid on the Block sheets, Scarlett fever won’t hold you back.
In second grade you won’t be the quietest kid in class, because one of the boys will get braces and refuse to talk all year long. Don’t just stare at him from across the room while other kids make fun of him, start getting over your shyness and go be friends with him, you know you want to. This shyness is going to plague you for the rest of your life. The sooner you start fighting it, the easier it will be. You start at a new dance studio this year. Your first performance is to a song called Rump Shaker. Yeah, even at 7 you have a good idea that Wrecks and Effects didn’t really mean for you to shake your rump in a bright yellow crop top covered in red rhinestones. On that note, stick with ballet. You need more fundamentals. If you’d focused a little more, maybe you would have gotten a bigger part in Hansel and Gretel than Gumdrop #5.
Third grade is when you major crushes begin. Austin, Stephen, Cody… It’s like fate put all the cute boys in your class. Still you are way to shy to talk to them, so you stick to your best friend Amanda and a few other awkward kids. Mrs. Hall will always be one of your favorite teachers. And those annoying songs during Spanish- those will stick with you forever. Hola Amigos, Hello my friends!
|I’m still a t-shirt and jeans girl… and a fancy dress girl.|
One of your favorite years will be Forth grade. Mr. Herbold breaks the teaching mold and breaks you out of your shell. For the first time you speak in front of the whole class, try out acting and build some confidence in yourself. Mr. Herbold will teach you what it is to be inspired and that will stick with you for the rest of your life. This is also the year you take your first major vacation to NYC. You will love the energy of the city and that too will inspire some future choices.
Welcome to official beginning of your awkward stage. You’ll be hanging out in awkardville for another 5 years, get comfortable. In fifth grade you will be associated with someone who makes fun of a boy at a skating rink. Said boy will then threaten you and push you into a tile wall. While I would like to say my advice is to avoid the whole thing, I’m pretty proud of your reaction. Clearly the confidence you started to build paid off when you told said boy he better never touch you again or your dog would eat him. Little did he know the following week, you bring Boomer, your English Mastiff, in for show and tell, have him sit in front of said boys desk and drool on all his belongings. You smart little sassy girl!
Sixth grade is another one of your favorite years. Congratulations, you are one of the tallest kids in your class. You won’t get much taller and your feet won’t get much bigger- thank god since you wear a women’s 10 and there aren’t a lot of women’s shoes that are easy for a 11 year old can rock. Mr. Davidson, a creative first year teacher, will encourage creativity and push you. Here are 3 awesome things that will happen that make this year unforgettable. 1. You will kidnap a flour sack baby from the classroom next door, deliver a ransom note that says the flour sack will soon be cookies and having a police officer come to your classroom, try to bribe you with licorice and give you all a lecture about right and wrong (meanwhile the bag of flour is tied to a chair in the back corner of the classroom.) 2. You will conspire with classmates and the principal to throw a surprise birthday party for your teacher by staging a fake fight between two boys. 3. you will once again conspire to prank your teacher on April fools day. It. Is. Awesome. Oh! and you have your first boyfriend. It’s a pretty big deal. You’ll exchange school pictures with notes on the back, sit next to each other on the bus and even hold hands. Thanks Chase Anderson for giving me those two momentous weeks. And eff off Rudy Martinez for saying you wouldn’t be my Valentine. What? No way do I hold a grudge.
You’ll have some weird family stuff going on, but it never really effects you except that one time the Jenni tells you your mom and dad never wanted you. Her mom will make her call and apologize to your family’s answering machine. The personal loathing will hit in Jr. High, when you start to get all angsty. For now, enjoy just being a nice sweet little girl that wears bows bigger than her head, pretends there are ghosts on the playground (weirdo) and helps the teachers set up their classrooms. Avoid that behind the scenes trip to T-Bell if you ever plan to eat there. My biggest tip, let more people get to know you. Even though you because really good at understanding how people work from watching and listening for years, you’re missing out on building some great relationships. That about sums up the early years Ashley Marie. I hope you enjoyed the sweet innocent life in elementary school because the next two years are going to be a little rough for you.
All my love,
Your Future Self
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