No, I’m not talking about Christmas.
I’m talking about Tequila Sunrise, a Northern Arizona University tradition. Right now, NAU alumni across the country are making their way to Flagstaff, Arizona to partake in a weekend of drunken extravagance. We Lumberjacks don’t have a great football tradition or die-hard fans, but we do have high altitude and bars that open at 6 AM.
Sadly, I will not be making the journey myself, but today I salute you Tequila Sunrise, by sharing some of Molly’s TS Tips, some photos from past years shenanigans and a few of my personal tips on making any homecoming celebration a success.
|This is a typical Tequila Sunrise picture by about 10 AM|
Tequila Sunrise Tip #1274: It’s crunch time, ladies. Only eight days left to crash diet, tan, and whiten those teeth before running into all of your exes – because even though you will be sloppy all weekend, you may as well be the HOTTEST mess around.
Tequila Sunrise Tip #13498: Forecast for the weekend is mainly blackout with a slight chance of Fireball. Scattered shitshows developing later in the day. Pack accordingly.
Tequila Sunrise Tip #13498: You can ALWAYS party harder.
Tequila Sunrise Tip #1234983: If you’re not okay with making some bad decisions (or making out with one), don’t even bother coming. This weekend is not for the faint of heart.
This words of wisdom brought to you by Molly, The Tequila Sunrise Commissioner!
|Pictures from Tequila Sunrise Past.|
Since I can’t be there to make help you all avoid bad decisions, I am going to give you all a few helpful tips.
1. Go big or go home. If you are going to wait until 8 AM to get to the bars, and it’s because you chose to sleep in instead of go to a pre-party, you don’t deserve to be at Tequila Sunrise. Pack your party pants! I can’t guarantee you’ll keep your party pants on all day, but at least you’ll have a good story for why they ended up where they did.
2. Make sure to plan for a nap. There is no excuse for not making it to tailgating or the post game bar hopping. I nap during the Homecoming game. My advice, don’t do it at the actual game- see above.
3. Pick a buddy. Don’t lose your buddy. You don’t want to be the story everyone is talking about until someone outdoes your shenanigans next year.
4. This is a marathon, not a sprint. Pace yourselves kids. I know those Audios Mother Effers and Grateful Deads sound like a great idea, but you want to take your time getting to Blackout City.
5. Finally, have a great time. You only get one weekend a year to pretend you’re back in college. Live it up! Just remember, some freshman are only 17.
Have a good time friends and see you at Maloney’s in 2013!